Father’s Day has fast approached. Personally, I can’t believe we are in mid June. It’s insane! Summer seems to be flying by in a flash-a flash of heat, that is, after today’s temps. Whew!
Thanks to the arrival of this holiday, most of the population plans to celebrate their fathers, grandfathers and father figures. Many, are to be celebrated themselves, while others mourn the loss of their own.
Father’s Day in the US, generally means bar-b-que, family and an array of “manly” activities. Stores have stocked up with grills, utensils and a variety of outdoor accessories; meats and a few produce have all gone on sale. Online shoppers have their gifts ordered, ready to arrive.
As I sit here looking through social media, or over hearing others around me while out and about, I can’t help but become curious. Whenever I read or hear, Father’s Day mentioned, it seems to be centered around the same question; “What are you getting so and so for Father’s Day?”
Sure, there are a select few memes floating around that may state something along the lines of “share if you have the greatest dad ever”, but I’m curious to know: is that really how we feel? If so, how have we shown it?
Thinking on this, I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of answers would arise should someone ask, “What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your dad/father, or of a father figure?”
How quickly and honestly could you answer this question? On the spot, one may reply with something along the lines of “strong and loving” or “leader”, but what does that mean exactly?
Well, here, let me just go ahead and ask; “What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your dad?” Really. Grab a piece of paper and pen and write the first thing that pops into your head.
How about this one; “What is, in your opinion, the best quality a father (or your father) can have?” Write that down.
Let me share with you my personal responses.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think of my dad, or a father in general, is strength. Generally, many of us assume the idea that a father is, or should be, strong. A tough, manly pillar of strength, in a manner of speaking. They lift heavy things, rarely show emotions (at least not as much as us women), open jars and chase away our fears.
To me, the best quality a father, my father in particular, has is courage. My dad is honestly the most courageous person I’ve ever met. He’s virtually fearless, at least in my eyes. He rarely concerns himself with what “might happen”. He’s a hunter, a mechanic, a contractor, husband and father of four. I’ve heard him say many times “oh don’t worry about that, it’ll work itself out” or “awe we’ll just worry about that when the time comes.” My dad stands up for what he believes in and doesn’t let fear hold him back.
I, on the other hand, am a born worrier. I budget strictly, spend lightly, tread carefully and do my best to avoid any situation that could even remotely be the slightest bit dangerous, or regretful. But not my dad. I so admire his courage.
No matter how quickly the thought entered my mind in answering those questions, I am certain he’s never heard those words for himself. My dad has never, in all my 31 years, heard me say how brave I think he is. Would it matter? Who knows? Personally, I believe it would. But will it be worth it to share those feelings? ABSOLUTELY!
Now, what about your answers? No matter how big or small you perceive them to be, have you let your father/ father figure know? Ever? If you think he’s the most brave person you’ve ever met, or the funniest, have you told him? Stop thinking they know, and just say it out loud. Let them hear you say he words.
DO IT! Write it in a card or letter. Pick up the phone, or if you’ll be seeing your father/father figure this Father’s Day, voice it!
I will be letting my dad know how I feel about him.
For most of our lives, we’ve ventured through each day, carried each memory, said our “I love you’s” and gone on. Some of us, either can’t get it back and wish with all our heart we could, or want the chance so bad we can’t stand it. Let’s stop taking advantage and losing the opportunity we do have.
While you still have your paper out, I want you to write down three things:
- My <dad, father, etc.> is the _____ ever!
- I love that he ____________.
- I really want him to know __________.
Here’s my example:
- My dad is the most courageous man ever.
- I love that he has never let fear stop or slow him down.
- I really want him to know that I do love, appreciate and admire the bravery in him.
It may sound a little cheesy, but it’s a step. If you want to include more, great! End up with a two and a half page letter, FANTASTIC!
As soon as you finish, make a plan to let that person know each of these things. I don’t care how amazing or expensive your gifts are, they won’t speak those words for you.
Do it now, while you have the chance. I know I don’t want to miss out and he definitely deserves to hear it from me.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers, grandfathers, adopted/foster fathers, and father figures! Being you is more appreciated than you’ll ever know, even if it isn’t always said out loud. I wish you all the best.
I’ll see you soon!