Have you been looking around, trying to find inspiration? Do you feel stuck or lost?
I’ve been there. In fact, that’s exactly where I was before I sat down to write this post.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately, praying that God would give me inspiration for new blog posts; waiting around hoping something would trigger a thought. The thing about prayer though, is as humans, we try to determine when, where and how, our prayers will be answered. After receiving an answer, we ask “why”. A lot of the time, our prayers are answered in a way we weren’t expecting. We grumble; now and then, we’re thankful. Most of the time, unfortunately, we ask “why?”. “Why was my prayer answered this way?” “Why did I have to go through this situation to get an answer?” How about: “why would I have to learn yet another lesson to have the answer I searched for?”
This morning, once again, I found myself praying for more inspiration. I sat around, waiting, then I decided to do some housework. After an hour or so of thoroughly cleaning the kitchen; starting a new load of laundry and folding up what had finished; it hit me… “You are doing it all wrong!” My mornings, full days really, have been full of praying, waiting and hoping. Great! Yet, what really is missing, is me giving my attention to God after all that. My focus on writing and house work, has taken over and pushed aside the most important part: my focus on God. His time, His love, attention and His promises. He’s already done such a great deal for me. He’s already answering my prayers; I just haven’t paid attention.
One struggle I face: letting anxiety take over, worrying so much about so many things. Meditating on this reminded me of the story of Martha and Mary. It’s one of my favorites. I’ve known it would often have a different meaning to me over time. Once I finally sat down to read, the section of the story that stood out was: “Mary has chosen what is better, and it shall not be taken from her.” Luke 10:42. This made me realize that as long as I choose “what is better” (time with God), that cannot be taken away from me. Not by people, nor distraction, or in any other way. It brings me so much hope and peace. God is with me. Nothing can take that away. I just have to continue choosing Him.
Having spent most of my morning doing chores and keeping my mind set on my concern, another part of their story entered my thoughts. Jesus responds to Martha’s complaints: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed only one.” (vs 41-42). I now feel like Martha in this situation. I’ve been so concerned, so worried and anxious. “Will I be able to come up with something new soon? How am I going to concentrate while the kids are home for summer?” Yes, it’s great to go to God with all of our concerns, but how many times must we go to Him, before we finally see that “only one thing is needed”: the Lord Himself.
I have the tendency often times, to be a little too strict on the kids. They’re very active, so I allow myself to be easily frustrated. Just a few minutes ago, my son came in to ask me a question. Frustrated by the interruption, I gave a short answer and suggested he go find something quiet to do. I walked down the hall a few minutes later to find his bedroom door shut. The kids aren’t allowed to shut their doors. They can be pretty sneaky and because they’re so active, I worry about them getting hurt or doing something potentially dangerous. I opened the door and with a stern tone asked “why is this door shut?! What did I say about the doors?” He agreed he had been told not to so I asked “why did you shut it then?” His response froze me in my steps, and knotted up my stomach: “so it would be quiet for you to read and write”. I want to cry thinking about it. I have been so hard on them! They care, but don’t always understand. They love me, my attention and time with me.
Isn’t it the same with our own Father in heaven? We get frustrated because He interrupts our lives, our thoughts and our plans. Because He answers prayers in ways we don’t expect. But OH! HOW HE LOVES US! He loves us too much to let us be expectant of blessings; too much, to let our own ways and wants, lead us into the dangers only He can see. He loves us so much “He sent His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not parish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. He does or doesn’t do, because He loves us.
Look around at your life. Take time to spend with God, and to notice the inspiration He has already given. Allow yourself to bask in His presence and emerge yourself into His overflowing, abundant love. Be completely aware of your surroundings. Notice the love of others in your life and be cautious of how you react. Can it be that your just want and crave your love? Is it possible, that your parents long to hear your voice? Is your spouse possibly giving you space, rather than avoiding you, because they love you and aren’t really sure how else to help you or make you happy?
Take time today. Make time everyday. Don’t be oblivious. Stop allowing distractions and selfish wants, take over your mind, causing anxieties and frustration. I know I need to. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through my posts. My writing would be nothing but a thought, without having someone to share it with. Learn more about me and my original inspiration here and read about how you can “Learn to live with less” so that you can be more of a Mary than a Martha. Find the joy in your life in the simple things.
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I’ll see you soon.